Quiet Times Search

Sacrifice - we think of pain, suffering, loss, and the uncomfortable concept of denying self
We hear: "Do what feels good"

Sacrifice is a voluntary presentation of ourselves to God to be used for his purposes
Jesus sacrificed his comfortable position with God to serve, heal, love, preach the good news

 We can respond in serveral ways to the sacrifice of Jesus:

• Pretend it never happened
• Can decide to hide from the challenge
• Immerse ourselves in other thoughts
• Stand back with our arms folded
• Understand the facts but no personal acceptance or responsibility

Christ love needs to compel us - 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Hiding is dishonest. Spectating is hypocritical. Committing is powerful.

What happens when you offer your body as a living sacrifice?

• It produces many seeds - John 12:24-25
• Life truly becomes life
• Our joy is multiplied
• It effects us and other for enternity

What types of sacrifices is God asking of you right now?
Is there is anyone, anything, any place, or any position you are holding on to?

• Love for enemies and pray for them - Luke 6:27-28
• Sacrifice of sleep for someone
• Be flexible and inconvenienced for others

• Simply save himself and let everyone fend for themselves
• Come down in hope that they would believe
• Settle on improving their lives but not saving them

• Jesus also loved the world that he gave his only life - Love
• He cared deeply for others
• He knew he could bring salvation to many

• He was washed the feet of his betrayer
• His disciples did not suspect Judas because of Jesus' perfect love for him
• He healed the leper with a word
• Fell asleep during a ragging storm from serving the people
• Went out of his way to encourage the disciples that would in a few hours later betray him
• Despite Peter's denial, Jesus left him the keys to the kingdom
• He promised heaven the thief that moments earlier was abusing him

To truely know him, we must absorb his Word
We must enjoy his talking to us

God's Word was written with one purpose in mind - to communicate God's love:

• He promised to carry our burdens - Matthew 11:28
• We will have all we need - 2 Corinthians 9:8
• He will give us more than we can ask or imagine - Ephesians 3:20
• He will meet all our our needs - Philippians 4:19
• All disciples have angels to server them - Hebrews 1:14

Mark 1:35, Matthew 14:13, and Luke 4:42 - shows us that Jesus often went to solitary places to pray

Solitude is essential in developing a deep relation ship with God
Be still and know I that I am from God - Psalms 46:10
Do you have a special place where you meet with God?

Psalms 5, 38, and 42 are examples of how open and expressive David was with God
He shared everything from joy and delight to anguish and dispair
How open are you with God?
God wants our hearts
As a result, we are much more open and real with others

We get fired up by sermons, fellowship, and music - Jesus went to be alone
There is nothing in your life that God cannot change

Prayer times make special memories
Israelites setup stones to remind them of what God had done - Joshua 4:7

Ideas for times with God:

• Write a love letter
• Sing a song you composed
• Write on a ballon, let it go
• Hang a poster and write the things God has done

• Help me be a better person
• Help me to change
• Help me to love you more

Whoever the enemies may be, the words of Jesus are still the same: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you - Matthew 5:44

It our enemies who afford us the opportunity to glory God by shining like stars - Philippians 2:15
This behavior is described in the Bible as "perfect" - Matthew 5:48
Only someone who loves God earnestly and has an eternal perspective on life is able to surrender

Must forgive and love our enemies to be permitted to be sons of God - Matthew 5:44

When praying for our enemies, we should focus on:

1. Their need for forgiveness - Luke 23:34
2. The power of God to change them - Acts 4:24-28
3. Our need to continue to preach boldly - Acts 4:29

• Brings into our experience not only love and grace of God but transforming power
• Provides us with the guidance, motivation, enabling power to reconcile our relationships with God and others
• Enables us to live with the experience of inner cleaning and the peace of God

• Such a life is attractive
• They will want to be like you
• Will see something inside is real
• Will see the difference

• He went to parties
• He told jokes
• He nicknamed his guys
• He loved children and they loved him
• Pharisees even rebuked Jesus for letting his disciples get too happy

Love each one

We cannot play favorites with suffering the consequences
Fatal error of Isaac (Genesis 37:4) and Rebekah - Genesis 25:28

Love with your time

It takes time - kids look at time we give them as the most direct expression of our love
Find ourselves always saying, "Not now, I am busy" - then we are too busy
When disciple fought the "Intrusion" of the little ones, Jesus became indignant - Mark 10:13-14
Exclusive time with mom and dad is needed

Kids who are showered with love must be taught to give it away
Otherwise they will become selfish, aloof, and arrogant
God commands us to love hime in return

Love and concern for others should be talked about often
Children learn to love by helping - capable of so much more than we think

We can do far too much for them - creates self-centeredness
They way we treat others is the way we treat Jesus - Matthew 25:34-40

The whole family is an instrument of God - God will use in us is a dark and lost world

We must love the truth, accept the truth, live by the truth, and tell the truth
Truth will set you free - John 8:32

Will perish if we refuse to love the truth and be saved - 2 Thessalonians 2:10

If children learn to accept the truth as children - they will be able to face their sins, repent of them, and be saved when they are older

Satan is a liar and the father of lies - John 8:44

vWhat are we to do when our children disobey us?

1. Verbal correction or reprimand
2. One-warning rule - if your instructions are not followed, give one verbal warning
3. Immediate Correction - the closer to the time of the offense, the more effective the action; delays also creates a tense, fearful atomsphere
4. Temporary Isolation

Great with kids who love to be in the middle of the action
Don't let them ruining everyone else's fun

One way they learn to gain control over us - let them have their way
We are going to have a great time - they will realize that no one is mourning their loss

What does the Bible say about spanking?

He who spares the rod hates his son - Proverbs 13:24
The rod of discipline will drive folly far away - Proverbs 22:15
If you punish with the rod, they will not die - Proverbs 23:13-14

Message is clear - Spanking is vaild, employed with wisdom and love

1. Spanking should be an event
2. Explain beforehand the reason for the spanking
3. Cool off before spanking a child - must be complete self-control and not retaliatory
4. Use a designate paddle - do not hand spank - too personal
5. Spanking must result in change, contrite heart
6. Bring things to resolution
7. Do not spank for every offence - children in elementary years, spanking is less appropriate
8. Spank on the safe backside or thigh
9. Start as soon as the child begins to understand the word no; about 14 months

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

These Commandment (v. 6)

Bible is the underlaying basis for all training
It is the very word of God:

• To be revered
• To be loved
• To be believed

Paul said of Timothy  - from infancy you have know the holy scriptures - 2 Timothy 3:!5

Love the Lord your God (v. 5)

Training flows from a relationshop of love with the personal God
Not  "do-it-ot-else" mentality - missed the point
Bible should be used continually, not just for some "extra" authority is needed

Character

• Start early to build on good points and strengthen any areas of weakness
• Even a child is know by his actions

Beliefs and faith in God - Trust God in prayer / stand for the truth

Attitudes

• Teach them to love life
• Expect them to do their best
• Teach them to expect God to move powerfully

Values - good morals - honesty and purity - if learned young - they will not abanon them

• Some need to realize that our kids are not likable
• Don't let your kids be social outcasts, weird, or rude
• Some kids think they are hilarious when they are not
• Other act strangle to get a attention
• Some are are bland wall flowers

• God is honored
• God's presence is sought and experienced in daily life
• Prayer is an ongoing reality
• The Bible faithfully read and obeyed
• There is love for God's church and is fully involved in its fellowship and ministry
• There is times of worship, praise, and study
• The children have their own times of personal Bible study
• The parents spend regular times with each child to disciple them to Christ
• A group that is dedicated to helping other become disciples of Jesus

• Genuine in our love for God
• Consistent in our walk with him
• Wholehearted in our dedication

1. Prayer
2. Discipling times
3. Family devotionals
4. Devotion to Church
   
5. Evangelistic lifestyle
6. Children's Quiet Times

Love the brotherhood - 1 Peter 2:17

If you have a positive, loving attitudes about the church, your kids will too
If we love God's people, more likely to love to be at the church activiities

If you notice that things were not done excellently - pitch in and help make it better

Teach your kids to respect their Bible class teachers
If a conflict with a leader or classmate, solve it quickly

If you have problem with someone - don't speak inappropriately in front of your kids
You will undermine your children's love for God's kingdom

• Cain and Abel - murder by his own brother
• Jacob and his twin brother Esau - folly from their parents' favoritism
• Jacob's sons turning against their younger brother Joseph
• Family of David - torn apart by lust, rape, incest, murder

1. Respect
2. Openness
3. Fabric
4. Atmosphere

Instead, speak the truth in love - Ephesians 4:15

An open family is a close family
No simmering backlog of unresolved problems - children should free to speak their minds at any time

Children should believe that we care enough to give them our full attention; will not fly off the handle
This establishes an open door policy with them

Openness is not limited to parents and children - includes the children with one another
Never allow conflict between kids to go unsettled
Send them off to talk about it - Mediate if needed

King Saul - filled with jealousy and envy and held in his feelings
His patteren was to think one thing and say something else - 1 Samuel 18
Resulting in complete emotional and spiritual breakdown

Parent should be concerned for a child that holds everything in
Have open talks during your family devotional times
Establish an atmosphere of freedom and openness

When the paralyzed man came down through the roof - damaged the house of Peter and Andrew - how would you respond?

Jesus demonstrated his love for people in the way he deals with the crowds

Everywhere he went, Jesus drew a crowd
He spoke with authority, conviction because he deeply cared about people

We need to care enough to gather a crowd - People need to be our focus
They need to be in our homes, in our Saturday plans, and focus of our lunch hour

Jesus with the Religious
Their slavery to legalistic minutiae angered him - Matthew 23:23-24
Their stubborn hearts distressed him - Mark 3:1-5
Jesus desire was for them to be saved

Jesus with the Faithful
Jesus gets the greatest joy from interacting with people who believe
Centurion - the faith he was looking for - Luke 18:8
What fires Jesus up? Faith

If we follow Jesus, the smallest seed of faith that we see in others should encourage and excite us.

Who big is your crowd?
Do you see the faith of others?
Is Jesus amazed by your faith or your lack of it?

We want to be know but we keep a safe distance
Jesus has X-ray vision to our hear and see right our heart

John 4:39 - Samaritan women:

• She was minding her own business
• Ran into Jesus and was never the same
• Will you give me a drink he asked - the fact that he (a Jew) spoke to her told her (a Samaritan) that there was some very different about Jesus
• Whoever drinks from living water will never thirst again - John 4:13-14
• He confronted her sin and help her see the emptiness of her life
• He wanteed her to see who she was without God
• Due to her discomfort, the woman tried to change to subject
• Jesus skillfully drove out her fears with his love -  brought her back to the conversation of life
• She shared with others

We too can be afraid of seeing who we really are
When we opened up and were forgiven,  we couldn't wait to tell other either

To set people free, we must be like Jesus:

• Relate to them in deep ways
• Not studying the Bible superficially - not helping them see who they are without God
• Ask the difficult questions
• Expose sin so they will see their deepest need for Jesus

Jesus' love and acceptance allowed the woman/us to be real and to change

Jesus was in ahuge crowd and suddenly a Roman centurion walks up to Jesus - Matthew 8:5-10

NT centurions are often mentioned with honor:

• Cornelius was the first Gentile to become a Christian - Acts 10:22
• A centurion rescued Paul from the Mob - Acts 23:27
• A centurion saved Paul's life in the shipwreck - Acts 27:43

Lord, my servant lays paralyzed and in terrible suffering - Matthew 8:5-6
To many Romans, a slave was defined as nothing more than a tool

Jesus was moved by the man's heart - I will go and heal him
When Jesus saw a need, he met it
He lived to serve and meet needs directly and continuously
He loved a man many hated

Lord, I don't deserve to have you under my roof - Matthew 8:8
He was a Gentile, Jewish law - a Jew could not enter the house of a Gentile - Acts 10:28
In spite of his desperate need, he respected Jewish law

Say the word and he will be healed - Matthew 8:8
His authority produced results, how much more would the authority of Jesus do?

Jesus did not find anyone in Israel with such faith

Luke 7:11-17 - He said, "Don't cry", Jesus chose to be vulnerable to everyone's pain:

• His heart ached for a woman whom he had never meet
• Immediately felt her pain
• Was not oblivious to other's pain
• He gave her reason to rejoice - through his death

Jesus compassion knows no bounds
How wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ - Ephesians 3:18

Are you praying to stretch the capacity of your heart to feel deeply with many others?

Is your lack of openness (rooted in fear of the sin of pride) blocking your passion and compassion?

Some people's needs could be quickly dealt with: "Heal my blindness" or "Let me just touch your garment"

But not Nicodemus, Jesus knew it would be a long night - John 3:1-3

Nicodemus, was a man looking for something:

• Groun up learning about God
• Surrounded by a system caught up in traditions
• Knew the Bible stories
• Very active in the Jewish faith
• Jesus capured his attention by his teachings and his works
• Felt that there was something missing

Could this be right? Could Jesus be the Messiah?

Jesus was straight to the point: I tell you the truth, you must be born again - John 3:3
He needed a wake up call - Same lesson we need today - we need a new birth
He was part a system of legalism  (following rules with seeking the heart of God)
People trying to earn what God desired to just give them

Nicodemus knew he could get time with Jesus and he did
He receieved the answer and Jesus taught him the depth of God's love

Who was intrumental in answering your questions and healping you see the truth?
What sacrifices do you see that they made for you?
Are you doing the same for others?

Luke 18:22-24
Wouldn't all Christians love to meet someone who comes across as this man does initially?

Most of us would say, "can we study the Bible?"
Jesus had a very different responce because he knew his heart

Sell everything and follow him = It's not what you do but who you are
For him to have a heart set fully on following Jesus - it meant a willingness to seel all
Following the exchange, it became clear - the man was out of touch with himself and God

Jesus did challenge him but he also loved him
He pointed the man to the narrow way
At the same time he drew him close want to give him strength, faith, and hope

Jesus does not get into a lengthy theological debate
He saw weaknesses the man had to deal with if he was going to enter the kingdom of God

Each of us lacks that "one thing" deep down that we must give up and following Jesus
Something we don't know what it is but God will reveal it - Hebrews 4:12-13

John 8:10-11 - When they were going to throw stones - Jesus just didn't say no
He said - one who is deserving of the same fate, go ahead

Jesus called what it is was - sin:

1. Not a fault
2. Not a cultural problem
3. Not a weakness

Was she being used by the Pharisees? Yes
Was she the product of a culture that oppressed women? Yes
Was she probably from a "bad" home? Yes

Sin enslaved us - John 8:31-34
Respect and love were the last things she expected
Jesus gave her freedom to change and was willing to forgive

 Sometimes we think repentance is more difficult than it is - Jesus called for immediately
We like to stall - think about it a while, talk about it

Is it hard for me to confront others in their sin?
Do I accept or resist others when they confront me with your sin?
What sin do I find difficult to leave behind me?

When it comes to friendship, Jesus again sets the standard

Jesus knew John:

• Jesus saw his weaknesses - yet accepted him - Mark 3:17
• Jesus did not hesitate to call him to be a follower - spite of his temperament - Mark 1:19-20
• He expect John to change - Luke 9:51-56
• Jesus questioned his commitment when John sought power - Mark 10:35-37

Incredible thing about John is that it would seem that he never doubted Jesus' love

He refered to himself 5 times as the "disciple that Jesus loved"

In his torment, he sees the need of his mother and he entrusts her to John's care - John 19:25-27

Jesus let John know that he trust him and needs him to take care of his mother
God in the flesh yet her express his need to John's help

John was transformed from "son of thunder" to "Apostle of Love"
John later teaches us that if we say we love God but no our brother that we are a liar - 1 John 4:19-20

The problem with not feeling close, real, or trust is our issue

How close, real, and trusting are your relationships?

What do your relationships with people tell you about your relationship with God?

John 13:27-31

Jesus knew all men - John 2:24-25
He knew their thoughts - Matthew 12:25
He knew Judas would betry him to death - John 13:11

Have I not chosen you, the twelve? Yet one of you is a devil! - John 6:70

Jesus not only tolerated Judas, he lavished love on him
So perfectly that the other 11 did not even suspect Judas after 3 years

Jesus was tempted in every way we are but was without sin - Hebrews 4:15

How could he put up with this day after day?

Jesus was in complete submission of God's will:

1. Jesus God no matter what the cost
2. He chose Judas so the scriptures would be fulfilled - John 13:18
3. Suffered emotionally each time he looked at Judas

How Jesus' heart must have ached when teaching:

1. Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over - Judas. - Matthew 10:17
2. Brother will betry brother to death - Judas. - Matthew 10:21
3. Love your enemies - Judas. - Matthew 5:44

Call me and I'll answer - Psalms 91:14-16

I can help others when I am confident that God is listening to and responding to my prayers

When we lose faith that our prayers will be answered, we lose heart and our relationship with God withers

We may not always give us the answer we want; he always responds for our good

We must see the answers he gives and never doubt that he loves us

• Abraham
• Moses
• Esther
• Daniel
• Joesph - 13 years of set backs and suffering but became second in command to Pharaoh

1. A more abundant life - John 10:10
2. Peace that surpasses understanding - John 14:27; 16:23; Phillipians 4:6-7
3. Love that passes knowledge - John 15:9; Ephesians 3:19
4. Joy that is inexpressible - John 15:11; 1 Peter 1:8
5. Hope that sustains in the face of death - John 11:25; Revelation 14:13

Prophets – God can forgive your sins
Jesus – He said their sins were given by him
To the paralytic - “…may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” (Mark 2:10)
To the sinful women – “her many sins have been forgiven” (Luke 7:47)

Prophets – God saves
Jesus knew he was the one to save the world from sin
“…Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45)
“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:28)

Prophets – God judges
Jesus - “…my judgment is just” (John 5:30))
On the last day - “Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord…” (Matthew 7:22)

1. How to live
2. Be committed to him
3. Should love him

1. v3 – Called them hypocrites
2. v4 – Put heavy burdens on other but did nothing themselves
3. v5 – Everything was for show
4. v13 – Behavior blocked themselves and others from entering the kingdom
5. v16-22 – Making ridiculous rules about swearing
6. v23-24 – straining about some fine point and neglecting justice, love, faithfulness
7. v25-28 – Outward show and no inward change
8. v29-30 – They had the same attitude as the people who killed the prophets

• New priorities – with people who have different ones
• New loyalties – with people who have different ones
• Mission is to reachout and share with people why they need his message
• Associate with sinners but call them change
• Love unconditionally; Live radically – declare this is the way to live

1. Be ready to be uncomfortable
2. Be ready for big changes
3. Be ready to follow the narrow road
4. Be ready to give up anything

Must deny self
Kingdom is the greatest thing to possess
It will cost you all you have
Must carry his cross
Commitment must surpass relationship with family (Jesus: you must love me more)

• Jesus served humbly as their servant - his life was all about love
  
• All men will know you as a disciple by your love of one another
• Distinctive mark by which Christians are recognized
• Does not say "they will know by your doctrine"

• People would beat tools of division into tools of peace - Isaiah 2:4
• Impossible unity - Isaiah 11:6-9
• Men would protect each other - Isaiah 32:2

• Praying for show - Matthew 22:29
• Studying the scriptures - Matthew 22:29

Expectation

Mark 1:1

• He expected a lot out of Himself
• He knew he was born to save the world
• Wallow in self-pity, to cower in fear, or simply giving up is inappropriate behavior

Mark 1:2-8 - People consistently live up to the perceptions others have of them

Encouragement

Mark 1:9-11

• He told him that he was special
• God is a god who initiates love
• How would we change if we realized the amount of love God has for us

Gentleness

Mark 1:29-34

• At times we need to raise our voices and push in order to get things done.
• At the same time using gentle tone and pitching in to help will accomplish far more good.

Fueling

Mark 1:35-39

• People who love sleep don’t usually change the world
• Jesus slept when he had the time
• Jesus was extremely eager to pray
• Most of us live with only a vague idea of purpose
• Our personal ministries – can be tempted to lose the fire, to settle down, and get comfortable
• We laugh and patronize at younger friends who are “idealist, zealots, and radicals

Mark 2:15-17

Nonconformist

• He challenged popular thinking to inspire them to think again about how they were living.
• Are you willing to rock the boat?
• People of impact won’t accept because we have always have do it this way.
• Every great historic change has been bought by blood or the reputation of non-conformists.
• People who are unwilling to venture out into unfamiliar territory will never men of impact
• More difficult for people who feel they have achieved a great deal

Protector

• Legalism occurs when one values an easy decision over true justice.
• When Jesus gave direction, he assumed responsibility for their actions
• Jesus stood up for his disciples.
• They probably felt very safe around Him (love always protects)
• Without protection, insecurity can be seen more and in the “Me” generation.

Challenger

• To say that Jesus quietly and humbly pointed out their wrongs would be inaccurate
• He didn’t go after their ego, he went straight to the heart.

Amazing Speech

Mark 6:1-6

Suspicions and fear can evaporate because of love and openness

1. Deep Conviction

• Listeners who put his words into practice were wise
• How convicted are you about what you’ll be saying?
• Think about what to say instead of how it will come across

2. Passion - If the speaker isn’t moved by the message, how can he expect it to move anyone else?

3. Integrity - Speaker must take plank out of their own eye before one can challenge other on the same topic

4. Person to person

• Speak at their level mean not “to talk down to” or “to talk up to” an audience.
• Apologizing without reason, belittles himself
• Jesus was above us, but he came down to our level

5. Inspirational

• Conservative and low-key he will have no impact
• We all want our lives to count for something

6. Practical

• Message must be practical and applicable
• He specifically addressed the sins in their lives
• He gave them direction, and at times He told them exactly what to do

7. Meet the Need - Out of touch with the needs on the audience can actually make things worst then they are.

Communicator

Mark 7:31-37

• Jesus did not use slang word that his audience could not understand.
• Jesus found a way to get to all types of people’s heart.
• His method was an overwhelming love for all people – communication that fit the individual

A standard of excellence

• Jesus never did a shoddy job.
• He never quiet halfway.

Tough love

Mark 10:17-31

• This young man was secure in his own material goods.
• Are we willing to lay such tough, “make or break” challenges before people? Even when it puts your relationship on the line?
• Are you willing to let people walk away? · Allow people to make their own decisions?
• If we compromise our standards, our standards are meaningless.

Reassurance - Leaders need to first overcome his own negative thoughts and feelings in order to help his followers avoid becoming discouraged.

Romantic

Mark 14:3-11

• We have love and passion and gratitude all bottled up and safely stored away. – Need to break the alabaster jars.
• Spontaneity, extravagance and apparently unreasonable actions are the trademarks of passionate love.

Accepting Praise Graciously

• We don’t want people to know how much we crave the compliment, so we pretend that it means nothing to us.
• They way a person responds to a compliment is a clear indication of the condition of his or her self-image.

Unconditional Love

Mark 14:17-26

• Jesus knew yet did not treat Judas any different than he treated the other eleven.
• Conditional love puts an unbearable strain on relationships
• Unconditional gives security, wipes away fear, builds confidence, adds hope, teaches perseverance, and erases discouragement and doubt.
• The key is not to love if or because of, but to love in spite of. In-spite-of love cannot fail to make a lasting impact.

The Memorial

• Jesus died for us as individuals
• It is the forgiveness of sins, my sins.
• People need frequent reminders
• We soon forget what is important.
• The activities of life so easily distract us and we so quickly lose our convictions.

• Swords, camouflage, six-shooters, uniforms
• Boys want to be powerful and dangerous
• Aggression is part of man’s design – God’s image (Exodus 15:3)
• They do not want to call and talk about relationships
• Boys play is a rehearsal for a bigger drama
• Life needs man to be fierce and fiercely devoted
• Every man needs to know he is powerful – be the hero

• Fights the grizzly, wins the beauty
• Recipe for fun with boys – add an element of danger
• We may fear the test, yet we yearn to be tested and discover what it takes
• If a man has lost this desire (says he doesn’t want it) does not know he has what it takes – believe he will fail the test.

• Nothing more inspiring to a man as a beautiful women
• Make you want to charge the castle, slay the giant
• Men going to war carry a photo of their sweetheart in their wallet
• Paintings on side of airplanes
• Lonely men fight lonely battles
• Where would James Bond, Robin Hood, King Arthur, Indiana Jones be without their women
• Man needs a battle to fight, he needs someone to fight for (someone in particular – women he loves)

• Shadach, Meshach, and Abednego
• Pharaoh and his army
• David and Goliath Gideon’s army 

• Prostitutes
• Fisherman
• Tax collector

• physical contact
• sandpaper of my whiskers
• to test their fathers

• What is my effect on you?
• What am I like to with?
• What don’t you feel free to bring up with me?