Quiet Times Search

Kids who are showered with love must be taught to give it away
Otherwise they will become selfish, aloof, and arrogant
God commands us to love hime in return

Love and concern for others should be talked about often
Children learn to love by helping - capable of so much more than we think

We can do far too much for them - creates self-centeredness
They way we treat others is the way we treat Jesus - Matthew 25:34-40

The whole family is an instrument of God - God will use in us is a dark and lost world

Must be taught and expected earily
Lays the foundation for obedience to all other authorities in life and ultimately to God

Children who are rebellious, defiant, and disobedient to parent later will demonstrate those same attitudes towards all authorities

It is easiler to teach children to obey while they are yound than to begin later when the habit of disobedience is deeply established

We must love the truth, accept the truth, live by the truth, and tell the truth
Truth will set you free - John 8:32

Will perish if we refuse to love the truth and be saved - 2 Thessalonians 2:10

If children learn to accept the truth as children - they will be able to face their sins, repent of them, and be saved when they are older

Satan is a liar and the father of lies - John 8:44

Must have deep convictions and treat it as a serious character (as it is)
Catch it the first time it happens, and deal with it swiftly and powerfully

Lying issues can start at age three

Don't be naive, learn to spot them, and deal with the probelm is terms they understand

Truthful lips endure forever; but a lying tougue last only a moment - Provebs 12:19

Tearful, self-pity can drive parents to guilt, rage, and frustration - this is a form of disobedience
This is an attempt by the child to break down the parent - we must not give in
It is a character flaw that one day will produce an unhappy, victim mentality adult

Do everything without complaining of arging - Philippians 2:14-16
This is what God expects from us and we should expect it from our children

Israelites - if only we had meat; we never see anything but manna - Numbers 11:4-10
Any grumbling we do is really grumbling against God

God met the needs of the Israelites but he punished them for their attitude - Numbers 11:33
God did want to their needs to be known
Complaining springs selfishness and ingratitude

Must teach our kids to be grateful
Also teach them to express their wishes, opinions, likes and dislikes in a pleasant, positive tone of voice

What does the Bible say about spanking?

He who spares the rod hates his son - Proverbs 13:24
The rod of discipline will drive folly far away - Proverbs 22:15
If you punish with the rod, they will not die - Proverbs 23:13-14

Message is clear - Spanking is vaild, employed with wisdom and love

1. Spanking should be an event
2. Explain beforehand the reason for the spanking
3. Cool off before spanking a child - must be complete self-control and not retaliatory
4. Use a designate paddle - do not hand spank - too personal
5. Spanking must result in change, contrite heart
6. Bring things to resolution
7. Do not spank for every offence - children in elementary years, spanking is less appropriate
8. Spank on the safe backside or thigh
9. Start as soon as the child begins to understand the word no; about 14 months

Be consistent - put up a fence and leave it there

Parents must always be unified - never argue in fron of the kids - otherwise they will play you against each other

Make a definite plan - have a family meeting and talk about your expectations

Walk on the narrow/middle road of parenting - not child abuse; not a lack of discipline either

These commandments... are to be upon your hearts (v. 6)

Should train from the heart level
in their minds and on their minds - Hebrews 10:16

Impress them on your children (v. 7)

Training with the Scriptures must be done with great conviction, sincerity and earnestness
If you want it to stick, you will need to give all you have

Talk about them always (v. 7)

Train consistantly - everywhere, anytime, anyplace

About teaching our children how to live life - not nagging about their misdeeds

Make it fun, doable, effective

Most training should be spontaneous

Never underestimate how many times we will have to say the same things over and over again

• God is honored
• God's presence is sought and experienced in daily life
• Prayer is an ongoing reality
• The Bible faithfully read and obeyed
• There is love for God's church and is fully involved in its fellowship and ministry
• There is times of worship, praise, and study
• The children have their own times of personal Bible study
• The parents spend regular times with each child to disciple them to Christ
• A group that is dedicated to helping other become disciples of Jesus

• Genuine in our love for God
• Consistent in our walk with him
• Wholehearted in our dedication

1. Prayer
2. Discipling times
3. Family devotionals
4. Devotion to Church
   
5. Evangelistic lifestyle
6. Children's Quiet Times

Family worship is an abolute must if we are to build a spiritual household
It is a time for the entire family gathers to sing, pray, study the Bible, draw near to one another and worship God

Two or three come together in my name, there am I with them - Matthew 18:19-20

Shouldn't be anything but a boring or irrelevant hour
Should be dynamic, fun, down-to-earth, and creative

Plan devotionals with your spouse - select relevant to the current needs
Time to confront sometimes but mainly to teach, train, and inspire

Last about 45 mins
10-20 of singing - various selections
The lesson with plenty of discussion
Acting out the Bible and role-playing
Close out with prayer

Appreciation for one another does not come about by accident

Must teach it, talk about it, show it and confront the ways the kids are not expressing it - only way

Cultivate appreciation by creating as many situations as possible where it expressed in words
Build up one another sessions - each person encouragees every other person specifically
Thank you nights - give thanks for different things other family members have said and done

Encourage your family to begin expressing respect, appreciation, and encouragement - whole atmosphere will change

Pleasant words are sweet to the soul - Proverbs 16:24

Teach your older children how to lead and teach your younger ones how to follow
Children's weaknesses tend to come out more with each other than with us

Overall tone of a home
For a family to be close, the atmosphere must be great

What do we need to do to make the atomsphere great?

Basic attitude of being positive and joyful
God is with us, life is great, and no matter what happens, we're going to come out ahead

As leaders of the family, parents must set the tine
Don't let a sour, negative child ruin the atmosphere

We want to be know but we keep a safe distance
Jesus has X-ray vision to our hear and see right our heart

John 4:39 - Samaritan women:

• She was minding her own business
• Ran into Jesus and was never the same
• Will you give me a drink he asked - the fact that he (a Jew) spoke to her told her (a Samaritan) that there was some very different about Jesus
• Whoever drinks from living water will never thirst again - John 4:13-14
• He confronted her sin and help her see the emptiness of her life
• He wanteed her to see who she was without God
• Due to her discomfort, the woman tried to change to subject
• Jesus skillfully drove out her fears with his love -  brought her back to the conversation of life
• She shared with others

We too can be afraid of seeing who we really are
When we opened up and were forgiven,  we couldn't wait to tell other either

To set people free, we must be like Jesus:

• Relate to them in deep ways
• Not studying the Bible superficially - not helping them see who they are without God
• Ask the difficult questions
• Expose sin so they will see their deepest need for Jesus

Jesus' love and acceptance allowed the woman/us to be real and to change

Some people's needs could be quickly dealt with: "Heal my blindness" or "Let me just touch your garment"

But not Nicodemus, Jesus knew it would be a long night - John 3:1-3

Nicodemus, was a man looking for something:

• Groun up learning about God
• Surrounded by a system caught up in traditions
• Knew the Bible stories
• Very active in the Jewish faith
• Jesus capured his attention by his teachings and his works
• Felt that there was something missing

Could this be right? Could Jesus be the Messiah?

Jesus was straight to the point: I tell you the truth, you must be born again - John 3:3
He needed a wake up call - Same lesson we need today - we need a new birth
He was part a system of legalism  (following rules with seeking the heart of God)
People trying to earn what God desired to just give them

Nicodemus knew he could get time with Jesus and he did
He receieved the answer and Jesus taught him the depth of God's love

Who was intrumental in answering your questions and healping you see the truth?
What sacrifices do you see that they made for you?
Are you doing the same for others?

Luke 18:22-24
Wouldn't all Christians love to meet someone who comes across as this man does initially?

Most of us would say, "can we study the Bible?"
Jesus had a very different responce because he knew his heart

Sell everything and follow him = It's not what you do but who you are
For him to have a heart set fully on following Jesus - it meant a willingness to seel all
Following the exchange, it became clear - the man was out of touch with himself and God

Jesus did challenge him but he also loved him
He pointed the man to the narrow way
At the same time he drew him close want to give him strength, faith, and hope

Jesus does not get into a lengthy theological debate
He saw weaknesses the man had to deal with if he was going to enter the kingdom of God

Each of us lacks that "one thing" deep down that we must give up and following Jesus
Something we don't know what it is but God will reveal it - Hebrews 4:12-13

• Mocked
• Questioned him (harshly)
• Spied on him
• Confronted him
• Laid traps for him
• Falsely accused him
• Threatened him
• Joined forces with their opponents to plot against him

1. We must admit that we are sinful
2. We must realize Jesus has called us to follow him and be righteous
3. Humbly commit to change
4. We must change

Jesus was tempted in every way we are but was without sin - Hebrews 4:15

How could he put up with this day after day?

Jesus was in complete submission of God's will:

1. Jesus God no matter what the cost
2. He chose Judas so the scriptures would be fulfilled - John 13:18
3. Suffered emotionally each time he looked at Judas

How Jesus' heart must have ached when teaching:

1. Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over - Judas. - Matthew 10:17
2. Brother will betry brother to death - Judas. - Matthew 10:21
3. Love your enemies - Judas. - Matthew 5:44

We must respond to Jesus' pursuit of us with our pursuit of him

Even with the testimony of woman, the disciples doubted

When Jesus stood in front of them, they thought he was a ghost - What hid their understanding?
Their inexperience of living by faith - Luke 9:45

Jesus was dead, yet lived afain
He defied science and human understanding

How long was your Emmaus road?
What is the greatest challenge to your faith at the moment?

God is faithful. He will meet all our needs
Based on the extent to which we focus on the Father and his will - extent to which God moves in our lives

He desires to meet our every need - to the point of sacrificing his own son - Romans 8:32
Does our knowledge of him transform us?
Does it propel us forward in capturing God's heart of sacrificing for the needs of other?

In Philippi, church sacrificed financially to support Paul (only church to do so) - Philippians 4:14-18
God will meet all your needs - Philippians 4:19
Those who are giving to others and giving to God can be assured that God will give to what they need - Luke 6:38

The more we are focused on his will, the more our needs will be richly met

What must be true in our lives in order for us to claim the promise that God will meet all our needs?

Call me and I'll answer - Psalms 91:14-16

I can help others when I am confident that God is listening to and responding to my prayers

When we lose faith that our prayers will be answered, we lose heart and our relationship with God withers

We may not always give us the answer we want; he always responds for our good

We must see the answers he gives and never doubt that he loves us

Jesus had to overcome unfathomable temptation - Matthew 26:36-36

If he chose to follow through with his Father's will: humiliting insults, excruciating beatings, and agoninzing crucifixion would follow

Jesus: If it's possible, may this cup be taken from me
He knew what we needed to do
He struggled to get his heart where it needed to be
He prayed until he found strength he needed to overcome

We should ask ourselves: How many hours have I wrestled with it in prayer?
We cannot expect to withstand tempation if we are not ready to wrestle in prayer until God gives us the strength

We must turn to God at the moment we are tempted - it may take hours but we will have great power to resist sin

• Abraham
• Moses
• Esther
• Daniel
• Joesph - 13 years of set backs and suffering but became second in command to Pharaoh

• the accuser
• the adversary
• the enemy
• an evil spirit
• the father of lies
• a murderer
• the power of darkness
• the prince of this world
• the ruler of darkness
• the spirit that in the children of disobedience
• the temper
• the god of this work
• the wicked one

• Noah was commissioned by God to build a large ship in the middle of a dessert
• Only his family would be persuaded to follow him into the ark
• He did it for one reason: obedience to God

• Came from the wrong town
• No educational credentials
• Follower were common people

• king who prepared a feast
• yeast
• mustard seed
• a net
• treasure
• man searching for fine pearls
• man who sows seed
• king who wanted to settle accounts
• landowner who hired workers

• Humble (heart like a child) - Matthew 18:2-4
• Surrender (your will be done) - Matthew 6:10

• New priorities – with people who have different ones
• New loyalties – with people who have different ones
• Mission is to reachout and share with people why they need his message
• Associate with sinners but call them change
• Love unconditionally; Live radically – declare this is the way to live

1. Be ready to be uncomfortable
2. Be ready for big changes
3. Be ready to follow the narrow road
4. Be ready to give up anything

Must deny self
Kingdom is the greatest thing to possess
It will cost you all you have
Must carry his cross
Commitment must surpass relationship with family (Jesus: you must love me more)

Preparation

Mark 1:12-13

• Jesus overcame himself first so that he could then overcome the world
• Considered it a joy when you face many trials
• The will to win is nothing without the will to prepare

The Message

Mark 1:14-15

• His message was attractive – proclaimed that an intimate involvement with God
• 'Seize the day' attitude – it was an urgent message and he called for an immediate response
• We must be urgent with people if we want them to act urgently
• This may be there only opportunity to respond.

Abandon

Mark 2:6-12

• Jesus didn’t walk on eggshells when he was around those who opposed him.
• We are often so careful not to offend anyone that no frankness and no power is left our speech.
• We need to be constantly ready to withstand opposition

Selfless Authority

• People who seem apologetic about authority they have or hesitate to exercise it are not very impressive
• Reason: they see it as a means of gaining something for themselves for themselves rather than a means of achieving a goal
• People that abuse power act the same way as those who do not use
• Pilate failed because he did not understand why he was in power
• We should not hesitate to make use of this authority and we should be unashamed
• How can disciples of Jesus not be bold and assertive? We must be forceful people!

Amazing Speech

Mark 6:1-6

Suspicions and fear can evaporate because of love and openness

1. Deep Conviction

• Listeners who put his words into practice were wise
• How convicted are you about what you’ll be saying?
• Think about what to say instead of how it will come across

2. Passion - If the speaker isn’t moved by the message, how can he expect it to move anyone else?

3. Integrity - Speaker must take plank out of their own eye before one can challenge other on the same topic

4. Person to person

• Speak at their level mean not “to talk down to” or “to talk up to” an audience.
• Apologizing without reason, belittles himself
• Jesus was above us, but he came down to our level

5. Inspirational

• Conservative and low-key he will have no impact
• We all want our lives to count for something

6. Practical

• Message must be practical and applicable
• He specifically addressed the sins in their lives
• He gave them direction, and at times He told them exactly what to do

7. Meet the Need - Out of touch with the needs on the audience can actually make things worst then they are.

Mark 6:1-6

Patience

• Son of God spent about ten to fifteen years doing manual labor.
• Flowers bloom at different times; we must wait for our day to bloom
• We must “Carpe diem” - seize the day - When that day comes

Challenger

• “They took offence at him.”
• Jesus was disappointed at their response and he told them so to their faces.
• He didn’t hesitate to speak out.
• Late to bible study – would you be late to pick up a million dollars?

Shepherding

Mark 6:30-44

• Employees must have a reason to look forward to a completion of a project.
• Must pause to experience the thrill of victory otherwise we will squeeze the joy right our of lives
• We will get burned if we do not remind ourselves to rest
• When we are exhausted our performance in all areas of our lives suffer. (point of diminishing returns)

Work Ethic

• Important causes are worthy of extreme levels of effort
• We are to go the extra mile - Matthew 5:41

Crowd Appeal

• Jesus displayed urgency and charisma when he spoke.
• People did not want to miss out on anything he might say or do.

Visible Sincerity

• Meet the crowd’s need for physical and spiritual food - needs of the whole person
• Meet other’s need without asking anything in return
• Concerned with how people fared after this life and not just in this life
• If we are concern more with what we will get ourselves we probably won’t have much of an impact

Toughness

Mark 6:45-46

• Worked harder and longer than anyone else
• Expected more from himself than from his disciples
• The one leading the way must pay the greatest price

Unwavering Excellence

Mark 6:47-56

• Fruit was only harvested what another had sown - what Jesus had sown
• He directed the efforts of many followers but did not become an administrator behind a desk.
• He had an unbelievable schedule with
  • frequent interruptions
  • time conflicts
  • people clamoring for his attention

Mark 7:14-23 - He had no stomach for the misdirection spread by the Pharisees and the Teachers of the Law

High Expectations

• He let them know that they were spiritually stupid.
• How many of us are willing to rebuke when asked a stupid question by people who should know better?
• Jesus was determined that these men would rise above the rank and file.
• He got upset and urged them to change
• The dreamer never gives up the dream.

Blame

• The responsibility for our actions resides with us, the decision makers, and not with our environment.
• We are not simply a product of our environment; environment is determined by our choices.
• We cannot rightly blame others or fate or circumstances for our behavior
• We must take responsibility for the consequences of our decisions
• Changes in people occur from the inside out. · Involves helping people to acknowledge what they are really like deep down and then to deal with their inner self
• We cannot on our own change our own or someone else’s heart.
• We must realize how desperately we need God’s intervention in out lives.
• The Bible exposes, in a unbiased way, the true qualities of our hearts.
• Deep character changes in our lives fuels our faith.

Firmness and Flexibility

Mark 7:24-30

• Are you able to say “no” to people? Jesus was.
• Some of us are unable to deny anybody anything.
• Others are too inflexible and become unwilling to make any exceptions.
• Jesus was not afraid to change his mind.
• We need to think for ourselves and make the right decisions.
• If we want to make a difference, we must be willing to disappoint some people.

Timing

Mark 8:31-33

• He did not reveal things prematurely.
• There is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him. – Ecc 8:6

Approachability

• Peter and the other disciples knew that they could say anything to Jesus and he would continue to accept them.
• A leader must be approachable.
• Approachability is not the product of timidity.
• People won’t open up to someone they perceive as being weak and unable to help them.
• Approachability is the fruit of those who have the ability to listen completely before responding.
• Confidentiality: Public offenses demand public discipline. (What goes around comes around)

Hardline

Mark 8:34-9:1

• Attitudes generally do not float in isolation – whistling teapot principle
• Jesus chose the most challenging words spoken by any leader.
• Words used:
• "If anyone…"
  • "…he must…"
  • "…deny himself…"
  • "…take up his cross…"
  • "…whoever wants to save his life will lose it…"
• His primary concern was for their immortal souls. No wonder he had such impact!!

Affirmation

Mark 9:2-13

• People are encouraged when they realize that we are indeed in line with the expectations of our superiors.
• They will also be inspired when they understand that their support for us is essential for the overall success.

Friend or Foe?

Mark 9:38-41

• To wrongly oppose an ally is wasteful, and to aid an adversary out of ignorance is embarrassing.
• Jesus did not recognize anyone as being “neutral” about him.

Hell-Fire Speech

Mark 9:42-50

• When a person steps into seawater, he becomes acutely aware of open wounds on his feet.
• Salty speech is good for producing impact.

Teacher

Mark 10:1 – We must good teachers and in teaching mode.

• He was furious about the fruitfulness of another “tree” that he had planted, watered, weeded, fertilized.
• Jesus cleared the temple at the beginning of His ministry and also here at the end of His of His ministry
• There was no fear of God.
  

• Jesus knew the right place and the right time the do the things needed.
• He was disciplined and self-controlled for just the right time.
  

• What made Jesus angry was the stubborn refusal of most to change.
• A willingness to change is a precious and seemingly rare behavioral characteristic.
• Become exceedingly insecure and defensive when we are awakened to the existence of personal deficiencies.
• We must also get angry about obstinacy in our own lives and other people’s lives.

• Why didn’t anyone try to stop Jesus as he was taking over the temple? (Only one person and many of them)
• They knew that they were in the wrong.
• Teachers of the law and chief priests feared Jesus
  
• If people consider you a “nice guy” and are not in awe of you, you probably won’t have much impact.

Discernment

Mark 12:41-44

• We must be able to discern the relative merits of people’s deeds.
• We often fail to notice the hidden glory of those who deny themselves

Snoopiness

• It is a mistake to think that we can effectively help people when we don’t know the details of what is going on in their lives
• “Mind your own business” – society is not favor of this idea
• We must demonstrate a genuine concern for the welfare of others. – not gossip

Openness

• Most are either:
  • Stoics – feelings and burdens are locked away deep inside of them.
  • Cathartics – those who dump their feelings on anybody who will listen
• Jesus practiced complete openness without making others responsible for his feelings.
• Jesus leaned on his friends, but he did not dump on them.
• Premeditated openness is a key to fostering deep, meaningful relationships

Deliberation

• Too many of us would be unwilling to persevere through a long and difficult decision-making process.
• We must be willing to put in whatever effort is required to reach the best decision.

A Powerful Presence

Mark 14:43-52

• Fearsome spectacle - all the disciples fled
• John 18:4-6 – He was forceful and in control of his decision

Self-Control

Mark 14:53-65

• Remember, for these men to act this way must have seemed completely out of character.
• What is your standard of self-control? – They lost control of their anger (built up over several month and years)

Where do we come from?

A man must know where he comes from and what he is made of both past and family fathers

Most men are trying not to be like their fathers

Who will they derive their sense of strength?

To men God is: Distant and weak (How they would describe their father)
Jesus has become – Mister Rogers with a beard
God – gives a reason and purpose to fight

Reminds us that life lived in fear is no life at all – all will die someday
Jesus = Mother Teresa or William Wallace? Both

• What is my effect on you?
• What am I like to with?
• What don’t you feel free to bring up with me?