Documents

Good Marriage

Be legalistic at first until it becomes a pattern. Typical takes three months to make it a pattern.   Three pillars of a healthy marriage:

1) Communication: If we are not transparent and do not tell our wives everything our marriage will devide. Keep everything in the light and your marriage will be in the light. Have a D-time every week! go get some coffee. Marriage D-time format!

1. Ask her if she has any issues. Anything in the week you said or did that upset her? Share with her your issues. Do not try to justify your actions or get defense acknowledge her feelings and apologize make sure both of you actual say , "I forgive you."
2. Encourage each other. Point out something she did that week that encouraged you or you admire about her or is a Godly trait. Have her do the same.
3. Plan the week! Include your next d-time, q-time together, date night. One night in middle of week where you do not answer the phone or have anyone on schedule.
4. Pray to close. Over communicate. What I mean here is check for understanding do not assume through out the week that she knows what you are thinking and that she totally understood what you said. Lately I have notice Stacy & I assuming to much and then having bumps over some things we just did not clarify.  

2) TIME IS EVERYTHING!!! Remember your honey moon, it was great because of the time you spent together! I suggest Having a D-time, a us night, a q-time, and date night scheduled every week!!! Your marriage ministry is first after all we are to hold our wives up "Holy and blameless, with out blemish" and we promised to help each other get to heaven. I suggest reading "Boundaries in Marriage" By Townsend & Cloud its in any book store.  It helped me to put my marriage first as we moved back to STL and was surrounded by family.  

3) Do the unexpected? (I need to repent on this one) Flowers on the bed when she gets home. a note on her car seat as she leaves for work. Awesome dates at the Plaza or Shawnee Mission Park. Planned themed dates, like we used to do as single brothers. This will help ignite the romance.   Lets keep each other accountable with this and ask each other if we aredoing these things to make our marriage the best.