Humor

Jokes from Hell

One day, while walking down the street, a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem-just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven, and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven," said the woman. "Sorry, we have rules," said St. Peter, and with that, he put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all of her friends-fellow executives with whom she had worked. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf, and that night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (and kinda cute). She had a great time telling jokes and dancing. In fact, she was having such a good time, that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back at the Pearly Gates,where she found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up. St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.