Quiet Times Search

• Children who learn to admire and encourage other will be confident
• They will be strong enough to give credit where credit is due
• Teach your kids to give their best and never blame anyone when they lose
• Teach them to be like Jonathan - could have been jealous of David but became his best friend - 1 Samuel 18
• John the Baptist became lesser so Jesus could become greater - John 3:30

Love the brotherhood - 1 Peter 2:17

If you have a positive, loving attitudes about the church, your kids will too
If we love God's people, more likely to love to be at the church activiities

If you notice that things were not done excellently - pitch in and help make it better

Teach your kids to respect their Bible class teachers
If a conflict with a leader or classmate, solve it quickly

If you have problem with someone - don't speak inappropriately in front of your kids
You will undermine your children's love for God's kingdom

Appreciation for one another does not come about by accident

Must teach it, talk about it, show it and confront the ways the kids are not expressing it - only way

Cultivate appreciation by creating as many situations as possible where it expressed in words
Build up one another sessions - each person encouragees every other person specifically
Thank you nights - give thanks for different things other family members have said and done

Encourage your family to begin expressing respect, appreciation, and encouragement - whole atmosphere will change

Pleasant words are sweet to the soul - Proverbs 16:24

Teach your older children how to lead and teach your younger ones how to follow
Children's weaknesses tend to come out more with each other than with us

Instead, speak the truth in love - Ephesians 4:15

An open family is a close family
No simmering backlog of unresolved problems - children should free to speak their minds at any time

Children should believe that we care enough to give them our full attention; will not fly off the handle
This establishes an open door policy with them

Openness is not limited to parents and children - includes the children with one another
Never allow conflict between kids to go unsettled
Send them off to talk about it - Mediate if needed

King Saul - filled with jealousy and envy and held in his feelings
His patteren was to think one thing and say something else - 1 Samuel 18
Resulting in complete emotional and spiritual breakdown

Parent should be concerned for a child that holds everything in
Have open talks during your family devotional times
Establish an atmosphere of freedom and openness

• Thought of Jesus as a Messianic Champion
• Thought Jesus would reveal himself in a fierce battle
• “You are the Christ!”
• All the right data
  • Witness the transfiguration – built shelters for Moses, Jesus, and Elijah – Jesus said Peter didn’t know what he was saying
  • Night of the betrayal – Peter said bring it on, he held on hope that 12 leagues of angels would come; drawn his sword to the guard
  • Peter joined the other disciples in Jerusalem – with “one mind” in prayer and purpose

Preached by Maurice Hooks

John 13:34-35 - How quick am I to sacrifice for my brother and sister?

Romans 13:8 - Being  a stepping stone means you make the decsion to love people

Have the attitude of Christ - ...Philippians 2:1-7

Build others up - Ephesians 4:29-31

Strive to make others great - John 3:27-30

Challenges for the week:

1. Make your spouce/roomate great without them knowing
2. Make your kids day, lift them up without seeing that did anything
3. Help someone not close to you feel special

Preached by Damon Pabts on 2002-03-03

1 Chronicles 28:9-10

• Serve him wholehearted
  • Not just serve but with all of your heart
  • Be strong = command, not an idea

Building Yourself

1 Chronicles 29:1-4

• 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 - we are the temple
• If you do not know where you are
  • Are you in the Word?
  • Daily diet - not once a week

Give everything to build

1 Chronicles 29:2-4

• Have given up everything?!?
• It is not any different now!
  • Remember:
    • Door knowing
    • Street Preaching
• Where are people with the heart to build to God's temple?
• Have you turned to other Gods?
  • House
  • Kids
  • Car
• Have you dethrowned God?

Throwing your own Matthew party fulfills a modest purposes

• To provide a neutral setting where Christians can make a low-key contact with irreligious people
• To strengthening existing relationships as well as cultivating new ones
• To plant some spiritual seeds and strike up conversations about matters of faith

Good examples of Matthew parties:

• Holiday parties
• Events for kids on the block
• Summer BBQs

Another misconception is that we have add a lot of new activities to our schedules

Examples of everyday activities to get people involved in:

• Sharing a meal
• Watching a game
• Sporting activities
• Babysitting and work exchanges

• Question: What do you understand these scriptures as saying to you?
• Question: Who would be the most challenging relationship for you to keep God above?
• Question: What if your (spouse, kids, parent) did not want to be a disciple (or left) what would you do?
• Satan will use relationships closest to you to try to pull you away.
• Don't think these things will never happen to you - never underestimate the devil
• v26 - Even his own life
  • What will you need to overcome?

• Even when you sin after you are baptized then the blood of Jesus will continue to purify you from all sin if we stay in the light
• We should confess our sins and having discipling relationship helps us to take care of one another
• Question: If someone approaches you and talks about how many changes they have seen in you. What should you tell them (role play)

Proverbs 18:9 - One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys

A three (3) toed sloth is one of the ugliest creatures in the world.

• It spends most of its time hanging from a tree
• It’s as slow as molasses in winter (ultimate example of laziness)

The sluggard is the spiritual three (3) toed sloth. The Bible has nothing good to say about the sloth.

Laziness comes in little spurts.

• Little amounts of unproductiveness
• Spurts of lost time adds up to a lot of lost time (time that can never be regained)

Proverbs 26:14 - As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed

A sluggard has a difficult time getting out of bed, and loves the snooze button. It caters (snooze button) to those that can’t begin the day on time.

Proverbs 26:15 - The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth

Here is another picturesque description of the sluggard. His is so lazy that he needs someone to spoon him his meal. This description should warn us of how disgusting laziness is to God.

Proverbs 26:16 - The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly

One of the saddest things about a sluggard is that most of the time he doesn’t even realize how lazy he really is.

• He looks at his unproductive day and actually believes he had no control over his lack of productivity.
• He blames it on other things (parent’s, kids, spouse, work, weather, health, etc.)

Summary

Japheth's line lived in the coastlands; Ham's included Nimrod and the Canaanites; Shem's lived in the East. These formed the nations.

Observations

Genesis 10:4 - peoples spread out ... each with its own language
These family was not only in not on the same page, in the same state. They each had a completely different language. Their words were likely not written down so changed easily because there was no reference point. Having different languages is not a bad thing but it illustrates when we do not have a reference point in our lives, our standards, direction, and our feelings of the day change we do things. Like God's written word, if we do not keep refering to it, we will live as if we are standing on shifting sand [[Matthew 7:26].

Genesis 10:6 - sons of Ham: Cush, Mizraim, Put and Canaan
From Ham's children, came the Jews and others like the Philistines [Genesis 10:14]. I am not sure if this separation came from the times these kids were growing up but does show how much we need unity in our family. Though in verse 6, they had different languages. Unity is very important in a family and godly unity only comes from God. We can be united in mind and heart from our relationship with God. It is never to early introduce God to your family - especially children.

Personal Application

I am convicted on how fast families can be divided by Satan. How things can change and a heart is no longer are responsive in a relationship. I need to start ASAP.  I am going to make sure my children know God, his word and what it means to have an amazing relationship with Him.

Summary

The Lord promised Abram an heir and many descendants. Abram believed. He was told that they would be enslaved but would then return.

Observations

Genesis 15:6 - Abram believed the LORD ... credited it to him as righteousness
Even though Abram had no kids for a long period of time, he believed the Lord would provide. He had this prayer for a long time - many, many days he prayed. But nothing. He he came face to face with God, He told him a son was coming and his descendants would be as many as stars in the sky. Abram chose to believe and his faith was credited to him as righteousness. How long do we pray before giving up?

Genesis 15:14 - I will punish the nation they serve as slaves
At the beginning of the chapter, God said he was Abram's shield [Genesis 15:1]. Here he expands on his promise - in the future, he will punish the Egyptians for making his people to become slaves. God will protect us. The judgement of our enemies might not come on our timetable, but it will come. We need to patient and be still, the Lord will fight for you [Exodus 14:14]

Personal Application

Sometimes I believe that perseverance is my strength but as I look at my prayers for the desires of my heart, I give up way easily. "But it has not happened in 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years" - I say. Abram waited until he was 100 years for his son to be born.

They need to see Jesus - Deuteronomy 6:1-9

God did not want his people to forget him

What did he want them to remember?

• How God helped them
• Obey all his commands
• To fear him
• Love God with everything we have

All these things he still wants us to remember

In what ways can we show our kids, Jesus?

• Incorporate your children in the things you do
• Talk about God / ask them thought provoking questions
• Read the Bible to them /
• Pray with them

v 20-24 - The questions will come; opportunities to share more

With a Watchful Eye - 1 Timothy 4:15-16

 They will not be a Christian and stay a Christian by chance

Summary

As promised, Sarah had a son: Isaac. She had Hagar and Ishmael sent away but God preserved them. Abraham and Abimelech made a treaty.

Observations

Genesis 21:1 - The LORD visited Sarah just as he had said he would and did for Sarah what he had promised
God's fulfillment of his promises does not depend on us. God alone is faithful in what he says he will do. Neither should our vows change the on what others do or how our situation changes. Wheather that be our decision to become a Christian, our marriage, or commitment to the church or our kids. Jesus loved people to the core despite how others treated him.

Genesis 21:22 - God is with you in all that you do
God is all around us. His works and the evidence that he exists can not be denied. Which leads to the question: he is all around us but also with us?  God is watching us and he is with those who love him. [Romans 8:28]

Personal Application

I need to unmoved by the changing seas around me. I go all over the place on where I stand on giving to others without resolve. Need to be consistent as I faithfully follow the Lord.

Our relationship with our father is very telling as to why we are and who we are.

“What does my dad really think about me?” Lots of fathers don’t realize their vital role.

Many issues come from fathers having lost their sense of purpose.

Society is guiding boys to remain boys as long as possible— extending childhood into their thirties—while forcing girls to become women long before they are ready.

Millions of young men are staying single. They want the privileges and rewards of manhood but only the responsibilities and moral requirements of boys.

God has a special place in His heart for two specific groups of people: fatherless children and widows.
 
have in common? The most important man in the leadership role of their lives is gone.

Dad have good intention but there many things working against them:

• Divorce - best thing for kids is to see their parents humble themselves, repent of their selfishness, forgive one another, and recommit to their marriage
• Work - Before the industrial revolution, fathers primarily worked at home. When dad finally did get home, he was too tired to engage, and his family got the leftovers. Men need to set boundaries and learn to say “no,” his work priorities will constantly pull him away.
• Entertainment - the television becomes their influence instead which is a terrible father.
• Anti-father bias in media - dads on TV today are incompetent and constantly outwitted by their wives and disrespectful kids.
• The church - many church programs separate families to the point that kids never see their fathers

Devil will never stop attacking what God prioritizes.

Fathers are to reveal and represent God

All fatherhood comes from Him (Ephesians 3:14–15).

Should be able to see these qualities of God:

• a loving Provider
• a strong Protector
• a truthful Leader
• a respectable Authority
• an intimate Friend

The word father means “founder, source, chief, or leader.”

Godhead described, it is always God the Father first, then the Son, then the Holy Spirit.

Want to know what God is like? then just look at Jesus.

Are representing your heavenly Father? Thist is your priceless purpose.

1. They learn their identity from you - go to their dads for answers to their biggest questions: Who is God? Who am I? Am I loved?
2. They learn their values from you - Kids watch their dads to find what’s important. Constantly reinforce the higher priorities and deeper truths of life.
3. They learn their worth from you - girls with strong dads are much more likely to feel secure

Great homes don’t just happen, need to be intentionally cultivated and guarded.

Let truth, love, and wise discipline become constant ingredients of fathering.

The greater responsibility to raise your children is yours.
When you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up - Deuteronomy 6:7
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord - Ephesians 6:4

When the dad leads, kids are up to twenty times more likely to stay in church long-term than when moms are the spiritual leaders at home
When the father gets immediately involved, leading with purpose, dealing with problems, his own personal walk with God

Trusting Him makes you wise. Relying on Him keeps you strong. Following Him shows you how to lead.

Seeking God in a very deliberate, devoted manner will impact everything else in your world.
Focus on your relationship with God, you will find it more natural to want your wife and children to be enjoying the same thing

Jesus uses the Word of God to wash us and bloom us into a holy Bride - John 15:3
Leading your family with God’s Word is a key to helping them work through issues, love one another, and grow spiritually.

Devotions together

• Even if it seems awkward or different at first
• Can be as simple as:
  • Ggetting together in the same room and talking about how everyone is doing
  • Reading a chapter out loud from the Bible
  • Followed by a simple prayer asking God to help you apply what you heard

 Jesus Christ founded his empire on love

God not only wants you to lead your family but deeply love them
The more you walk with God and obey Him each day, the more of His love will be “poured out” in your heart - Romans 5:5

Children feel much more secure if they know their parents love each other.
We must do whatever it takes to put your marriage on a sound footing.

Don’t wait for her. Step up and be the leader God meant you to be. It’s never easy.
Your words in ten seconds can change them forever - either in a positively or negative way
If your kids feel they always get your leftover energy and attention, they will disconnect and struggle with resentment

Fathers are the primary protectors - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
When walking down the isle

• The father is saying he has guarded her moral purity throughout her life for her husband - 2 Corinthians 11:2
• And the man she is marrying is proven morally, financially, and spiritually qualified to lead her, provide for her, and protect her from that day on

When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed - Luke 11:21

You should not only guard your own heart but your wife’s as well
Your children need help making the right decisions. That is why you are still their dad.
Being active on the front end as a father will pay off well and save you time and heartache on the back end.

Teaches your children to love wisdom instead of developing a greater appetite for the world.
Your job is not just to give your children boundaries but to use God’s Word to teach them how to think wisely
Train them to fear and love God and not to “set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.” - Proverbs 4:14–15

The older your kids get, the more they will need to understand the rationale behind your rules.
They willthen  discern why certain things are right and wrong, wise and unwise, better and best.
This requires your courageous leadership!

We need to boldly redefined success for them = “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” - Deuteronomy 6:5
It is not only how we define success for ourselves; this is how we are called as fathers to define success for our children and grandchildren.
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up - Deuteronomy 6:6-7

1. God’s Word must “be on your heart.”
Many children who leave the faith is because we did not see God actively working in their parents’ lives.
You can’t inspire them with truths you’re not living

Must always tell them how God is moving:

• When God answers your prayers, tell your kids about it.
• When He changes your heart or helps you overcome temptation, celebrate it with them.
• When you face a season of suffering or persecution, let them see the strength of your faith.

Every day gives you fresh, new material for making your life with Christ a front-row experience

2. Training your children to love God must occur within the context of close relationships.

Talk about God is informal time:

• Greeting your kids at the breakfast table
• Sitting around the house
• Having spiritually rich conversations in the car or at dinner

Making disciples of all nations begins with your own children  - it all starts with their hearts.

You can be the greatest explainer of truth. But if the very heart of your son or daughter does not believe ‘my daddy loves me,’ they will walk away.
People tend to embrace the teaching and beliefs of those who love them the most.
Whoever has their heart has their ears.

Restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers - Malachi 4:6
When this doesn’t happen, fathers invite the “curse” of broken relationships into their homes

You can tell when a father doesn’t have his kids’ hearts. You sense the disrespect and anger, the bitterness and emotional distance.
The key ingredient in raising good children is to get their hearts early, keep their hearts, and be extremely vigilant not to lose your children’s hearts.

Jesus and His Father hearts were always in sync. When Jesus felt separation from the Father, it was the worst pain he could feel.
“For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing” - John 5:20

The following “heart hindrances” that will push your chidren away.

1. Your absence - they become sheep without a shepherd.
   • You are saying "You’re not important enough for me"
2. Your anger
   • React in anger, you can thoughtlessly say or do things in the heat of the moment that deeply wound your son or daughter’s spirit long-term
   • Love is slow to anger - 1 Corinthians 13:5
   • Humble yourself and quickly apologize
3. Unjust discipline
   • Must explain rules and consequences clearly using God’s Word and authority rather than their opinion - Ephesians 6:1-3
   • Ask yourself, “How can I train them without losing their heart?”
4. Harsh criticism
   • Don’t be sarcastic or belittling
   • Kids who have no freedom to fail will tend to rebel
5. Lack of compassion
   • Mercy warms hearts; carelessness distances them.
   • We must provide a listening ear, wise counsel, prayerful support, and a willing hand
   • Help them think of you as an oasis

Continuing the “heart hindrances” that will push your chidren away.

6. Favoritism.
   • Less favored children become resentful.
   • It led Rachel and Leah to fight and Joseph’s brothers to hate him
7. Hypocrisy.
   • It will kill trust between you and your children
   • Identify hypocrisy in you, be quick to repent
8. Hurting their mother.
   • They will tend to take up offense for the woman who loves them
   • If you teach them to dishonor her, they will eventually dishonor you
9. Misunderstanding.
   • Is tied to kids feeling misunderstood and not listened to by their parents
   • If a matter is important to them, it should be important to you
10. Unrealistic expectations.
    • Kids will quickly be discouraged if they believe their parents have set them up to fail
    • Avoid comparing their weaknesses with another child’s strengths
    • Your child believes he can’t please you, he’ll eventually quit trying

You must keep your radar up to sense if you have your children’s hearts

Questions to continously ask:

• Have I ever wounded you and not made it right?
• Have I said one thing and done another?
• Have I made promises and not kept them?
• Is there anything you’re angry with me about? Is there anything you’re not telling me because you’re afraid?

Too many men foolishly refuse to apologize because they’re trying to save face and don’t want to look bad.

Fathers, start spending more “heart to heart” time

ATTENTION

Get their attention, ask important questions like:

• Tell me how you are doing.
• What have you been up to lately?
• What are you most excited about right now?

Make a little one-on-one time with Dad

AFFIRMATION

Kids, as well as adults, want the approval and praise from their dads

They want their father’s "blessing” in their lives.
To bless means "to speak well of"

God: “You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased” - Mark 1:11

It is important that you communicate to them, “You are my son (daughter) and I dearly love you. I am very pleased with you.”

Anytime you greet them or talk to them, your countenance, the look in your eyes, and your tone of voice either says, “You are a delight to me” or “You are an irritation to me.”

You should praise them privately, one-on-one, and publicly in front of others. “That is awesome! You are really good at that,” needs to come from your lips as their biggest cheerleader. Regardless of your past, step up to do this now!

AFFECTION

Father pours out His unconditional love on us (Romans 5:5), and so should we to our sons and daughters.

Interact with them in ways that make them fully see, hear, and feel your love.

not only the discipline of a father but also his warm affection and tender love.

Boys who feel loved by their dads are bolder, stronger, kinder to others, and more secure

Girls who feel valued by their dads are more radiant, less desperate for a boyfriend, and more careful whom they marry.

So invest in them, take them places, flood them with tender affection, leaving no question in their minds about your genuine love for them.

You should actually want your leaders to succeed. You should be eager to help them fulfill their roles.
Helping them to win actually sets you up to win their ear and gain their favor. examples: Moses and Joseph

This is how we should treat those over us - with a clear conscience, in respectful ways - not only from a fear of God but as a witness and an example to our children.

Our kids will most likely adopt our views on authority in their own lives as well.
Whatever patterns we set for them will be the ones they use to train their own kids and so on.

We are accountable to Him - both to love Him and to fear Him.

When you teach your children to honor authority, you are teaching them to better honor God.

• How do you talk about your leaders at work and church?
• What do your children hear you saying about the government or elected representatives?
• They see you praying for your authorities? - 1 Timothy 2:1-4
• How do they see you respond to speed limits and state troopers?
• Does this match your talk about how God places authorities in our lives for our benefit?

Helping them not “forget his deeds” but to “keep his commands” - Psalms 78:7

Honoring authority will help them obey you.

Honoring authority is a hallmark of godly men and their children.

A major part of your role as a father is to disciple your kids

Discipling your kids requires discipline on our part

Discipline doesn’t feel good, nor should it - Hebrews 12:11

Discipline should be more on the father’s shoulders than the mother’s because of who we represent.

Loving discipline prepares our kids to respect and obey their heavenly Father

We had earthly fathers to discipline us, for they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good - Hebrews 12:9-10

It is the father’s job is to take the long view, not the short one.

Withheld discipline may seem momentarily pleasant to the child and the parent but it takes no skill or courage to be a passive father

Not disciplining guarantees that uncorrected sin will follow his child into adulthood and follow his family into the coming generations

Its momentary discomfort - knowing that sin will harm a child in far worse ways than even the painful discipline of a loving father.

He who loves him disciplines him promptly - Proverbs 13:24

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it - Proverbs 22:6

IT is a lie from the Enemy to believe that rebelling against and dishonoring authority brings more freedom and peace

Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord - Ephesians 6:4

Joseph: So it was God who sent me here, not you! - Genesis 45:8

Joseph's hear and mind had made peace with his treacherous brothers

He firmly believed that the God who remains in control of all things had sent him to Egypt

When one of your kids defies everything you save or your job moves in a different direction, how do you react?

Do negative emotions to rule the day or take refuge in God who is in control?

God has an amazing way of using even the worst circumstances for your good

Like you, Joseph did know the events ahead of him, he had to move forward by faith

We alone will build the Temple for the Lord just as KIng Cyrus of Persia commanded us - Ezra 4:3

It is important to guard against those who try to lead you away from a strong, biblical faith

Zerubbabel had good judgement overseeing the building of an alter to the Lord and the rebuild of the holy Temple

This got the attention of some traditional adversaries who offered to help with highly suspect motives

It was tempting to get the work done faster but Zerubbabel said thanks but no thanks

We need to have sound judgement in who spends time with your family and what images you and your kids should view and the activities you choose