Quiet Times Search

• He was washed the feet of his betrayer
• His disciples did not suspect Judas because of Jesus' perfect love for him
• He healed the leper with a word
• Fell asleep during a ragging storm from serving the people
• Went out of his way to encourage the disciples that would in a few hours later betray him
• Despite Peter's denial, Jesus left him the keys to the kingdom
• He promised heaven the thief that moments earlier was abusing him

• Decisions - Nehemiah 2:5
• Plans  -Nehemiah 4:9-16
  
• Actions - Nehemiah 2:18

1. Realize God has chosen you - Choose you for the purpose of telling the world about him - 1 Peter 2:9
   
2. See God in everything - Train your mind to look at God and not self - Colossians 1:11-12
   
3. Express and verbalize your gratitude - Psalms 39:4-5
   

"When you fast" - not if you fast

God commanded the Jews to fast on the day of Atonement - Leviticus 23:27-29
During the time of Jesus, Pharisees fasted twice a week - Luke 18:!2
Church was acustom to fasting - Acts 13:2, 14:23

Getting practical

1. Making it a part of lifestyle
2. Fast with a purpose in mind - bear fruit, find a job, closer walk with God
3. Decide how long you intend to fast and stick to it
4. Decide what kind of fast you intend to have
5. Seek input from other disciples

After asking for help from the Holy Spirit, then focus on the relationship with
Prayer is primarily a vehicle of relationship

Pater (greek) = father
Abba (aramaic) = intimacy and endearment = daddy

Holy Spirit in our lives is a spirit of adoption by which God give us our spiritual birthright (Romans 8:16; Galatians 4:6)

He delights when we come to Him as our Father, Abaa, Daddy:

• Mr. Bentson - wrong
• Mr. Benson - contact
• Benson - co-worker
• Chad - friend
• Dad - daughter
• Honey - wife

The closer you are, the better responce you will get
He delights in your desire to spend time with Him

This relationship is critical to a healthy and vitaul prayer life
His fatherhood becomes real in my life
Bridge the gap between what I know in my head and what I experience in my life

• Don't reject him
• Don't ridicule him
• Teach him to relate confidently to other boys
• Teach him sports and manly skills

• Lacked confidence - 2 Timothy 1:8
  
• Could lose motivation - 2 Timothy 1:6-7
• Got ill frequently - 1 Timothy 5:23
• Tended to be lazy - 1 Timothy 4:13-15
• Need someone to believe in him

• God cares for them
• God knows all about them
• God takes delight in them
• He longs to be close to them

Jesus took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them - Mark 10:15-16

Jesus could have blessed the children from afar
His way was closeness and affection

Unaffectionate families are cool, aloof and distant
Children raised in such an atmosphere develop into hard, nasty edge of anger and meanness

Examples:

Prodigal son - Luke 15:20
Greeted with a holy kiss - Romans 16:16
Paul and church leaders in Ephesus embraced and kissed - Acts 20:37

Honor you father and mother so it may go well with you - Ephesians 6:2-3

The issue of respecting authority is critical - opposite is arrogant, haughty, cocky attitudes
If not addressed - will lose our children to the world

How can we tell if our chidlren are disrepectful?

• Sassy talk
• Defiant looks
• Temper tantrums
• Stomping feet
• Them hitting you

First principle = first time obedience

Second principle = Parents never lose
They want to see their limits
Apologize when warrented but never give up in the battle of wills

Sometimes the whole issues comes down to the "mother of all battles"
Compromise is one the most devastating mistakes parent can make
When we do this, we sow the seeds of rebellion - Ephesians 6:4

If you have failed in this area:

1. Read about passages about obeying
2. Talk to them about obeying the first time
3. Explain this has not been the way but will be now
4. Pray together
5. From that time on be different

vWhat are we to do when our children disobey us?

1. Verbal correction or reprimand
2. One-warning rule - if your instructions are not followed, give one verbal warning
3. Immediate Correction - the closer to the time of the offense, the more effective the action; delays also creates a tense, fearful atomsphere
4. Temporary Isolation

Great with kids who love to be in the middle of the action
Don't let them ruining everyone else's fun

One way they learn to gain control over us - let them have their way
We are going to have a great time - they will realize that no one is mourning their loss

• Because of failure, they can hide things from you or even themselves
• Ask them if they anything on their mind
• Work through things until they are confident
• Share some of our worse blunders - draws them closer and assures them that they are not alone

• Children who learn to admire and encourage other will be confident
• They will be strong enough to give credit where credit is due
• Teach your kids to give their best and never blame anyone when they lose
• Teach them to be like Jonathan - could have been jealous of David but became his best friend - 1 Samuel 18
• John the Baptist became lesser so Jesus could become greater - John 3:30

Family worship is an abolute must if we are to build a spiritual household
It is a time for the entire family gathers to sing, pray, study the Bible, draw near to one another and worship God

Two or three come together in my name, there am I with them - Matthew 18:19-20

Shouldn't be anything but a boring or irrelevant hour
Should be dynamic, fun, down-to-earth, and creative

Plan devotionals with your spouse - select relevant to the current needs
Time to confront sometimes but mainly to teach, train, and inspire

Last about 45 mins
10-20 of singing - various selections
The lesson with plenty of discussion
Acting out the Bible and role-playing
Close out with prayer

• Cain and Abel - murder by his own brother
• Jacob and his twin brother Esau - folly from their parents' favoritism
• Jacob's sons turning against their younger brother Joseph
• Family of David - torn apart by lust, rape, incest, murder

1. Respect
2. Openness
3. Fabric
4. Atmosphere

Instead, speak the truth in love - Ephesians 4:15

An open family is a close family
No simmering backlog of unresolved problems - children should free to speak their minds at any time

Children should believe that we care enough to give them our full attention; will not fly off the handle
This establishes an open door policy with them

Openness is not limited to parents and children - includes the children with one another
Never allow conflict between kids to go unsettled
Send them off to talk about it - Mediate if needed

King Saul - filled with jealousy and envy and held in his feelings
His patteren was to think one thing and say something else - 1 Samuel 18
Resulting in complete emotional and spiritual breakdown

Parent should be concerned for a child that holds everything in
Have open talks during your family devotional times
Establish an atmosphere of freedom and openness

Overall tone of a home
For a family to be close, the atmosphere must be great

What do we need to do to make the atomsphere great?

Basic attitude of being positive and joyful
God is with us, life is great, and no matter what happens, we're going to come out ahead

As leaders of the family, parents must set the tine
Don't let a sour, negative child ruin the atmosphere

If we can laugh together, then we like being together, which adds up to unity

Idea: have a "joke night" - everyone tell jokes

Happy heart makes the face cheerful - Proverbs 15:13

Cheerful heart has a continual feast - Proverbs 15:15

Cheerful look brings joy to the heart - Proverbs 15:30

Cheerful heart is good medicine - Proverbs 17:22

The phyical environment need to be pleasant
Dirt, filth, and clutter do not create an atmosphere of closeness

The environment says, "we don't care", then people stop caring about each other

Luke 18:22-24
Wouldn't all Christians love to meet someone who comes across as this man does initially?

Most of us would say, "can we study the Bible?"
Jesus had a very different responce because he knew his heart

Sell everything and follow him = It's not what you do but who you are
For him to have a heart set fully on following Jesus - it meant a willingness to seel all
Following the exchange, it became clear - the man was out of touch with himself and God

Jesus did challenge him but he also loved him
He pointed the man to the narrow way
At the same time he drew him close want to give him strength, faith, and hope

Jesus does not get into a lengthy theological debate
He saw weaknesses the man had to deal with if he was going to enter the kingdom of God

Each of us lacks that "one thing" deep down that we must give up and following Jesus
Something we don't know what it is but God will reveal it - Hebrews 4:12-13

Jesus, knowing he would have to face the cross alone - would be have been easay to maintain his distace
He didn't; he threw himself into life completely

Closeness reuires spending time together
Jesus was the initiator and he wanted to be with John and John want to be with him

At the last supper, John was seated to Jesus' left - John 13:23-26
Jesus confides who the betrayer without the others noticing

Jesus opened his heart to his friends
It is why John knew Jesus was troubled during the night at the garden - John 13:21

Jesus completely bared his very soul to his three closest friends - Matthew 26:38
He did not retreat to be alone - drew John and others close to him

All the while knowing that they were unworthy of his trust and fell sleep when he needed them the most

In his torment, he sees the need of his mother and he entrusts her to John's care - John 19:25-27

Jesus let John know that he trust him and needs him to take care of his mother
God in the flesh yet her express his need to John's help

John was transformed from "son of thunder" to "Apostle of Love"
John later teaches us that if we say we love God but no our brother that we are a liar - 1 John 4:19-20

The problem with not feeling close, real, or trust is our issue

How close, real, and trusting are your relationships?

What do your relationships with people tell you about your relationship with God?

Upon hearing about the death of his close friend Lazarus, Jesus wept...

Jesus really felt the emotions that we feel
He fully divine and fully human at the same time
He knows what it is like to experience loss, pain, hurt, and fatigue

Why did he cry? Scripture does not say. Could be because:

• He felt the hurt of Mary and Martha
• He was expressing the hurt of the loss of his friend
• He was antipating his own death

Who are your deepest relationships in the church?

1. We must admit that we are sinful
2. We must realize Jesus has called us to follow him and be righteous
3. Humbly commit to change
4. We must change

Call me and I'll answer - Psalms 91:14-16

I can help others when I am confident that God is listening to and responding to my prayers

When we lose faith that our prayers will be answered, we lose heart and our relationship with God withers

We may not always give us the answer we want; he always responds for our good

We must see the answers he gives and never doubt that he loves us

Jesus overcame temptation by using scripture, prayer, and he called others for encouragement from others

He deliberately sought out support and encouragement from his 3 closest friends
He also expressed his disappointment at their failure to help

We desperately need relationships for encouragement EVERY day - Hebrews 3:12-13
Tempatation comes every day

There is no excuse in an age of modern technology for getting in touch

• Rejection
• Persecution from someone we have helped to know God
• Loss of a relationship to follow God
• Injustice of living in an imperfect world

Not like any other prophet, priest, or preacher

There were others that were close to him (Stalin…)

• Not only one to be called to preach - ...“so I can preach there also. That is why I have come” - Mark 1:38
• “Only in his hometown…is a prophet without honor” - Mark 6:1-5

Gentleness

Mark 1:29-34

• At times we need to raise our voices and push in order to get things done.
• At the same time using gentle tone and pitching in to help will accomplish far more good.

Fueling

Mark 1:35-39

• People who love sleep don’t usually change the world
• Jesus slept when he had the time
• Jesus was extremely eager to pray
• Most of us live with only a vague idea of purpose
• Our personal ministries – can be tempted to lose the fire, to settle down, and get comfortable
• We laugh and patronize at younger friends who are “idealist, zealots, and radicals

Effective with the crowds

Mark 3:7-12

• Jesus was approachable.
• He was known as a man who meet people’s needs
• What are we like in front of a crowd?
  • Become self-conscious?
  • Concerned about how people will perceive us?
  • Lose ability to think or speech clearly and passionately?
• Jesus was not anxious, afraid, insecure

Disclosure

Mark 4:21-23

• They were to let their beliefs shine brightly around them
• Widening its exposure does not diminish its value (proclaimer does not suffer loss but increase riches)
• Dead Sea – lowest point on earth, nothing flows out of it, smelly and lifeless

Challenge to listen

Mark 4:24-25

• If we are casual about what we hear and do not apply ourselves, we will even lose what understanding we have
• Practice of taking notes shows our heart to understand
• The arrogant sit and smugly, confident of their ability to retain oral information

Assertiveness

Mark 5:35-43

• He took charge of the situation and his surrounds
• Why have we not acted as Jesus did?

Fear Sensitivity

• Jesus didn’t say a word to those who doubted
• Assertiveness without sensitivity can be offensive and counterproductive

A Simple charge

• “Don’t be afraid, just believe”
• He didn’t burden him with lots of words
• Excessive amount of teaching may cloud the main issue

Privileging

• Peter, James, and John were closest to Jesus
• Jesus narrowed his focus to help the build leaders to their full potential.

Consideration

• A little consideration can go a long ways
• Ideas: buy someone lunch, remember people’s birthdays
• Be alert to meeting other people’s needs

Prudence

Mark 8:11-13

• Sometimes Jesus simply did not bother to deal with his adversaries – he just up and left.
• Sometimes we need to be able to determine when the best thing to do is walk away.
• Sometimes arguing is just a waste of time – shake the dust off your feet.

Moving On

• Farmer – plants across the fields not just around the farmhouse
• If we focus all our attention on one problem one goal, or one person’s needs - lose sight of the field
• Jesus kept moving on in order to keep his and work fresh vibrant and spontaneous.
• Momentum is an invisible yet critical element in any type of movement

Hardline

Mark 8:34-9:1

• Attitudes generally do not float in isolation – whistling teapot principle
• Jesus chose the most challenging words spoken by any leader.
• Words used:
• "If anyone…"
  • "…he must…"
  • "…deny himself…"
  • "…take up his cross…"
  • "…whoever wants to save his life will lose it…"
• His primary concern was for their immortal souls. No wonder he had such impact!!

Affirmation

Mark 9:2-13

• People are encouraged when they realize that we are indeed in line with the expectations of our superiors.
• They will also be inspired when they understand that their support for us is essential for the overall success.

Magnetism

Mark 9:14-29

• Why? Magnetism came from only prayer.
• Magnetism: an attracting force on the level of the soul, which produces deep bonding and enduring loyalty.

Frustration

• Jesus expressed frustration regarding the continuing unbelief of the people.
• Closest disciples even needed him the bolster their faith.
• He was frustrated because their unbelief blocked the power of God.
• Jesus did not lock his frustration up inside.
• Dealing with frustration – stuffer = out of mind; slammers = fly off the handle – neither are good

Ambition

Mark 9:33-35

• Jesus let them cool down before choosing to address the matter. (less defensive)
• Jesus never corrected these men for wanting to be great.
• High achievers in life tend to be high achievers for God.
• People who are eager to use their lives to benefit others are remembered and admired for generations

Win/Lose/Win

• When we try to eliminate the agony of defeat, we also take away the joy of victory.
• To discard dichotomous thinking is to discard the God of the Bible.
• I win by losing so that you may also win. The loser becomes the ultimate winner!

Higher Plain

Mark 12:13-17

• Jesus was not deceived by flattery.
• He spoke openly about their attempt to trap him.
• Jesus amazed them by a simple spiritual perspective on religiously complex issues.

Unity

• Unity is achieved as God’s people strive together to attain God’s thinking on all of life’s issues.
• People willing to deny themselves accept their Creator’s thinking above their own opinion will achieve the closeness no one has ever seen
• God’s plan for diversity and unity complement each other.
• Plurality of denominations exists because men and women have not obeyed the scripture.
• Common goaled minded people produce unity.

Contentedness

• People don’t trust someone whom they suspect to be greedy or overindulgent.
• A greedy man stirs up dissension.

A Champion

Mark 12:35-37

• Winning isn’t everything but for the man or woman who desires to make an impact, it is extremely important
• Few people rush to associate themselves with a loser.
• Fight fair and do your best.
• Second-place finishers are all but ignored in the championship celebration

Reprobation

Mark 12:38-44

• He knew that he had gained the upper hand.
• Yet he also knew that popular opinion would turn.

Unconditional Love

Mark 14:17-26

• Jesus knew yet did not treat Judas any different than he treated the other eleven.
• Conditional love puts an unbearable strain on relationships
• Unconditional gives security, wipes away fear, builds confidence, adds hope, teaches perseverance, and erases discouragement and doubt.
• The key is not to love if or because of, but to love in spite of. In-spite-of love cannot fail to make a lasting impact.

The Memorial

• Jesus died for us as individuals
• It is the forgiveness of sins, my sins.
• People need frequent reminders
• We soon forget what is important.
• The activities of life so easily distract us and we so quickly lose our convictions.

• What is my effect on you?
• What am I like to with?
• What don’t you feel free to bring up with me?

1. world
2. flesh
3. devil