Studies

Forgiveness

Giving up resentment on the account of someone offending me, then having an expectation of repentance and willingness to make things right.

Q: How do I forgive?
Vs. 22: There is no limit on the extent of forgiveness.
Vs. 34-35: The unwillingness to forgive is one of the most dangerous sins we can commit. It will literally keep us out of heaven.
Vs. 32: UNFORGIVING = WICKED

Q: Is it biblical to say that God has conditions on his forgiveness? Absolutely!
Vs. 35: The condition on his forgiveness of our sins is on the terms of us forgiving others that have wronged us! IF I am unwilling to forgive others from my heart, THEN God will be unwilling to forgive me!

Q: Do I come into the fellowship ready to forgive or ready to cop an attitude?

A couple practicals on forgiveness:
* Trust your brothers and sisters. I Corinthians 13:7, "love always trusts." If you do not trust them, you do not love them.
* Trust God. I Peter 2:23, "...he entrusted himself to Him." Jesus, when in the process of being killed and tortured, did not seek retaliation, but trusted God. Q: Am I walking around with little immature "school girl" attitudes in my heart?
* Need the proper perspective. Ask yourself "What did God do for me?" He forgave all your sins at your baptism! Who in the world do we think we are to have the arrogance to not forgive someone when they've hurt us, when God has forgiven us in such an incredible and undeserving way?
* Show kindness.

I Thessalonians 5:12-15, "make sure that nobody repays wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else."
Q: Be kind to whom?
One: to each other, our brothers and sisters.
Two: to everyone else. That's EVERYONE ELSE in case you needed a definition!

Q: Any neighbours you have attitudes with?

Q: Any family members or old friendships that still has a wedge of anger in it?

Q: Any hidden resentments festering in your heart?
* To forgive is to forget.
Hebrews 10:15-18, "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." God forgets our sins. One of the things the Lord can't do is remember our sins. They are forgotten.

Q: Do I say I forgive someone, yet hold on to the anger? Then you haven't forgiven from your heart.
Q: Do I keep a list of the hurts an individual has done to me? I Corinthians 13:5, "Love...keeps no record of wrongs." Read I John 4:19-21, "For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." If we are not trusting or if we are keeping a record of wrongs, we do not love them. If we do not love them, then we do not love God!

2. Learning to say, "I'm sorry."
Colossians 3:15: We are called to peace.
Matthew 5:9: Blessed are the peacemakers.
Ephesians 4:2: Be completely humble.
I Peter 5:6-7: Humble yourself, don't wait for God to humble you!
Q: What does it take for you to say, "I'm sorry"?
A couple of practicals on humility and apologising:
* Take responsibility when you're wrong. If you are late to something, say you're sorry then shut up! Excuses take away from humility. If someone asks you why, then offer reason, but simple humility is one of taking the responsibility and not pushing the blame to others or circumstances. There are exceptions, but most of the time lateness is due to nothing less than poor planning. This is true for any circumstance, not just tardiness.

* Miscommunication. One time, Someone was with his wife and they were on the turnpike, headed for Toledo. When they stopped at the tollbooth to pay the toll, the man's wife was in the back seat and she started to shuffle some things about and he heard the door open. Not thinking anything of it, he paid the toll and continued on his way - hearing his wife's screams from behind... outside! He quickly stopped the car and let her in and he immediately got defensive, "What were you doing! What are you thinking getting out of the car like that!" She immediately got defensive, "I told you I was going to get out when we stopped!" yadda, yadda, yadda. The wife humbled out first and gently said, "I'm sorry, I thought you heard me." The man sat there, disgruntled and still very upset, fists gripping the steering wheel and looking straight ahead. A mile down the road the wife says, "you could say you're sorry, too." Convicted out of his mind, he apologises and they work it out.

It was just miscommunication, what could have been a short, painless episode turned out to be a hurtful and tense few minutes. Let's be slow to anger and quick listen when we mis-communicate with each other.

* Joking around. Another story is about a brother who was talking to another brother and his wife. The first brother joked to the next about the sister in some way and they laughed, but the sister didn't laugh. To her it wasn't so funny. The first brother, in pride, said, "I was just joking, lighten up." But the sister held and said that it had hurt her feelings. The brother immediately humbled out and apologised for being insensitive and for hurting her feelings.

Read Ephesians 5:4, course joking can be damaging and hurtful.
Be humble.

To Summarise:
* Don't make excuses
* Take 100% of the responsibility, even if it's only 50% to blame, simply to maintain unity.
Proverbs 15:33, "Humility comes before honour," it's not an issue of who's right and who's wrong. It's an issue of unity and humility.
* Take the discipling and correction you get. If you can't take it, how far do you think you would have gotten in Jesus' following? He would have knocked you on your can.
If we put these things into practice, our relationships in the kingdom will be so much richer because the burden of carrying around guilt and attitudes will be lifted.